Custard
by tellmesomethingnew
Summary: His lips were soft and they tasted of custard. (AKA: How I felt the regeneration should have gone.)


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Doctor Who, or any character, events, and such owned by the Doctor Who people. No profit is being made off of this. This was strictly written for my own amusement.

 **A/N:** Please note, this is my first Doctor Who fanfic.

* * *

Clara had heard about this change this... _regeneration_ the Doctor does every so often when needed. She had heard how it changes him, each time from the last. And this was exactly what she had feared the most. Maybe she was kidding herself, thinking it would never happen with her on board the Tardis. Maybe she was just foolish and naïve to think that she could keep this version of the Doctor forever, for herself. Or maybe it had all been on big fantasy of hers when she had realized how hard she had fallen for this man, this Timelord.

The fear sat in the core of her stomach like a heavy cancerous tumor of panic as she put the fallen phone back onto its jack on the outside of the Tardis, her hand shaking and her eyes wide. What would happen, if that Doctor had really changed, when she walked into that Tardis? What happened when he wasn't himself and someone completely, irrevocably different. What if it was a Doctor who no longer felt for her the way that this past one had done?

She opened the door to the Tardis and stepped inside, her boots clicking against the flooring sharply andcarefully as she slowly closed the door behind her, taking in a deep, slow, and shaky breath as she turned her body and looked at the Tardis' console. She eyed the strange clothes strewn across the floor, the one she had recognized from the aged Trenzalore Doctor. How would he be now after that regeneration? Would he be older than the Doctor before?

She walked over to the Console, an odd smell hitting her nostrils as she eyed a bowl over by the left. Inside was fish fingers half in custard. She wrinkled her nose immediately, her eyebrows furrowing as she backed away. _Odd_. But then again, that was the it, that was the Doctor. Him and his odd ways... _Had he not changed, that is_ , Clara soon thought.

She walked over to the set of stares leading down to the doorway that led to where her bedroom was. She was prepared to hide up in there for when the Doctor would come for her, or simply dropped her off at her home – she honestly didn't know which to expect.

She froze just when she had descended a single step, hearing a familiar clinging of chain and feeling someone behind her as the soft, faint sound of shoes ascending steps came to her ears. Slowly, carefully, with her heart beating wildly in her ears and fear eating away at her heart, she turned around and set her eyes on the Doctor.

A smile immediately came about her features, a look of resolution and happiness. "Doctor!"

"Hello."

A part of her wanted to run to him, to throw her arms around him and hold him close, to never let go, but despite the fear that had made her feel as if she had just gone crazy, she still had some self control left. She pout her hands together, messing with a nail as her smile slightly faltered.

"You're young again," she breathed out, unable to fully understand the true happiness she was feeling at the time. "You're okay." _That's all that matters_.

But was it?

The Doctor, _her_ Doctor, smiled at her softly, his brown eyes admiring her as he walked over to her.

"You didn't even change your face," she said as he came over closer to her.

He shook his head. "It started. This is just the reset." And there, she saw it, a falter in his smile.

Something was off.

"Reset?" Her smile was gone now, replaced with the same worry she had felt before.

Just then the Doctor reached over and grabbed the bowl, putting it to his lips as he sucked on the custard before explaining to her.

"I can't stop it now, it's the reset," he told her. "A whole new regeneration..." His words blurred to her ears after that when she realized what exactly was going on.

 _No no no no..._

"He's coming," she soon heard more clearly than the other words he had rambled off to her. Maybe it had been him trying to explain to her, or give a lecture, or maybe he was trying to understand it himself. Something about breath on a mirror...

"Who's coming?" Clara asked as her eyes began to water, her chest heaved with sadness and that same fear as before, all over again, eating away at her.

The Doctor looked at her gravely. "The Doctor."

She shook her head and boldly placed her hands on his chest, looking up at him with denial. " _You're_ the Doctor," she stressed shakily, sadly.

The Doctor saw the sadness in Clara's large brown eyes and he gently rested his hands on her bent elbows, holding her close to him. "Oh Clara," he whispered.

And he was kissing her. For the first time, the Doctor was kissing Clara. _Finally_. His lips were soft and they tasted of custard but they were shaky as they probed against her soft lips, a hand going up to cup her face gently. And when he pulled away, Clara began crying. He had opened his mouth to say something when a groan left his lips and he almost doubled over, as if in pain.

He said nothing as he leaned to the side, resting his crippled weight onto the console as he reached for a lever and pulled it. The Tardis made a sound, readying to leave Trenzalore. Clara looked around at the changing lights, feeling like a scared little girl.

"No," she begged him. " _You_ ," she whispered, shaking her head as she leaned a shaking hand on the console to steady herself from wanting to fall to the floor and cry like a baby. " _You_ are the Doctor," she repeated.

"Yepp," the Doctor said in a strained voice, looking up at her. How did his face become so sweaty? "And I always will be."

 _No._

The Doctor raised a hand and it was glowing golden.

" _Please_ , please don't go, don't leave me," Clara begged as tears spilled down her cheeks and hung at her jaw. She shook her head and wiped her eyes, unable to stop herself as she grabbed the Doctor's face and pulled him into a kiss. _Just one more kiss_.

And when she pulled away, a warm breeze hit her face just as her hands left the Doctor's skin. Slowly, she opened her eyes to find a new face.

 _An older face_. She was too shocked with the change to fully react to it.

The older face, the _Doctor_? His large, wide, steely gray eyes stared at her with wonder. Brainless wonder. For a moment, an owl came to mind as Clara blinked away tears for a moment and tried to study his face before he doubled over and murmured something about his kidneys.

 _ **No**_ **.**


End file.
